Anthony TreQuan Parker, best known as TRE, was my 1st born son. He was the child I grew up with. His smile would have you feeling everything will be ok. As he got older, I set aside my girlie ways and got more into sports with him. That became our bonding. Whatever I didn't know I made it my job to do my research and to find out. If he liked it, I loved it. He was a very respectful, charming kid with a good heart and everybody loved him and knew him. He was also the rock of our family. He would harass the family (Lol) to attend the dinners, cookouts and family events and make sure we would be there.
He was more than an older brother to his 2 brothers he was a consistent love and hero. They looked up too him. The most trouble he ever gave me was sneaking girls in the house as a teenager. I don't have any memory that was awful. All I had to do was look at him. And he would get it together. So the outcome of his passing still do not sit right with anyone. Since he was 10 years old he always work with his grandfather, so the work ethic was instill in him at a young age. He played all sports from AAU, Rec to High school. His favorite sport was baseball. He helped me out a lot with coaching and supporting his younger brothers. I kept all my sons busy. So they really didn't have time to get in trouble. Everything was going great, he was working for his grandfather in a warehouse delivering medical equipment, med and medical supplies. Over the begin of COVID his hours at work was demanding. But as a 24 year old man he was happy with his paychecks. He always loved fashion. And with no kids he could afford to spend his money how he liked. He would always spoil me with a shopping spree to the mall. He introduced me to tennis shoes and young people music priceless moments we have. He did not have a selfish bone in his body. He loved to help people and if he could he would. He had his own car, loft apartment and job set for the future. I was a proud mom. Every time I saw him a big Smile would come on my face. Cause I finally did something right in my life. TRE. I could always call him when his siblings would get out of line.
At 24-years-old, at one of our outings at the mall he had his 1st seizure. I was not prepared at all. All I remember is his eye locking up in his head and him falling. The manager of the store called the ambulance and from that day on things would never be the same. He had a lesion on his right side temple and doctors said he would have to have surgery to remove it. But that was not a guarantee that the seizures would stop. So he had a tough decision to make. As a young man I had to respect his choices. I would constantly be in fear for him with his whereabouts and who he was with. Telling people his condition was not a topic he loved to share with people. From being independent to becoming disabled was very tough for him to face. He noticed the lack of friends isolating themself from him due to him being sick. This made us closer. Plus I could watch him. I was a regular at bringing him back and catching him before he fell and making sure nothing was in his way so he won’t hit his head.
The more he got sick the stronger he became. He kept working 6 days a week. He kept a smile on his face. No one could even tell he was having seizures or sick. I had to end his lease to his loft apartment and take his car away from him for safety reasons. Of course as a young man he was not happy about it. I stayed on edge waiting by the phones all hours of the day and night just in case I had to make a emergency run for him. My nerves were bad not knowing who he was hanging with and do they know what to do if he needs help, especially in the summer. Young folks enjoying life is how it should be. I can’t even image how he was feeling living with this and constantly keeping smiles and joking to make others laugh constantly.
A cool dude that everybody loved. His last day we went to a high school baseball game. He constantly stared at me. Me being mom I thought he was about to have a seizure at the game. So I was fussing and nagging him again, "did he take his medicine?" He said," yes mom, I just want to look at you." I would respond, "Tre you sure you're ok?" He said, "yes." By this point he could tell me if he was going to have a seizure. We continued to watch the game. Baseballs flying in the air and he was yelling and calling my name to watch out for them. He knew his mom was old and couldn't see well, I left my glasses at home. But nothing would stop our bonding moment. After the game we went to get something to eat. That Friday night I didn't feel like going in early. So I asked if he can hang with me and ride around Richmond, VA while playing music we like. About 2am I dropped him off at his grandparents house. He left out my SUV and told me he loved me and jokingly told me I owe him money for the game ticket. We both laughed. I told him I loved him and to add it to my bill. Laughing I watch him enter the house.
I went to work the next day to my 2nd job at the nursing home. I received a disturbing call to come home something happen to Tre. I left immediately to arrive with the street taped up to stop traffic. EMTs were telling me they did all they could, as I kneeled beside him on the floor screaming. Majority of the conversation from people and the outcome of that day I blocked out. There will never be another like Tre. He was so much more to many people. His favorite saying was "No Negative Energy today". He was the glue to my family. Nothing would ever be the same without him. I believe he knew exactly what he was doing with not having the brain surgery. I don't think he would want for anyone to see him in that condition. As a young man I have to respect his decision. Its just hard cause no matter how old they get as a mother he will always be your baby to protect. In this case I feel like he wanted to protect me.
Written by his mother Carla Winston.
Anthony TreQuan Parker